The Incredible Bravery of Breaking Up with Someone You Love
Deciding to leave the person you fell in love with can be difficult, but can be worth it in the long run. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner anymore, you’re just ready to end a cycle of ups and downs. It shows that you’re mentally strong enough to know when it’s over and that you aren’t afraid of being single.
Here are some reasons why ending a relationship shows your bravery more than fear:
You’re not afraid to end a “cycle”
A toxic cycle can easily become a pattern in a relationship. One of the typical unhealthy cycles is the “back to normal” feeling, then arguments and breakups, followed by reconciliation.
Breaking up is the loudest (and sometimes the only) way you can communicate with your partner. If you and your partner love each other, then it could be a chance that reconciliation can work in the future. On the other hand, saying “it’s over” could mean that you’re done for good. Whatever the outcome will be, ending something that no longer serves a purpose in your life shows that you are mentally strong.
Detachment is the mental breakup
When you fall in love, you become emotionally attached. Attachment is the reason why we break up and makeup on the same day. One of the consequences of becoming attached to someone who negatively affects you is that the emotion removes your sense of urgency when it comes to leaving.
Learning how to detach from someone is like forming another habit. Learning this habit will help you be better prepared for when the actual break up happens. Remember, you’re not breaking up with hopes of getting back together anytime soon. If you can successfully take time away from calling or spending time with your partner, the fear of being alone will become less and less.
Working through your emotions without the presence of your spouse will play a key factor in you moving on. Give yourself the freedom to decide what is best for you objectively.
Not having the ideal happy ending is OK
Ending a relationship can mean one of two things: it can be the end or the beginning of something. It is normal to feel sadness after a breakup, and it can be hard emotionally, but it is better than a lifetime of pain and settling for less than you deserve. Breaking up amicably is a nice goal to strive for, but it is not always possible. Focus less on being friends after the breakup and more on beginning the process of moving on.
You must be prepared for the possibility that your ex will want to remain in the relationship and won’t be receptive to breaking up. You can’t control how other people react to the things you say and do, but you can control your own reactions. If your ex threatens to turn off communication between you two, it’s probably better that way. What do you have to lose if he or she gets mad because you want out of the relationship? The point of breaking up is to move on. Remember that ultimately ending the romantic involvement with your ex is the goal.
You’re past working it out
Ending a relationship shows that you’re past the point of working things out; you’ve tried all you could. It’s sometimes going to feel like you made a mistake or that you’ve done the wrong thing. Know that you left for a good reason. Don’t let that shake your decision.
Discussing what happened in the relationship is crucial in moving on and is a required step that shouldn’t be avoided. Admitting your feelings not only helps when talking to your partner but it can help you understand things from the other perspective. Use the opportunity to talk about your feelings as a reason for the breakup, but do not force a closure if your partner is not open to it. Saying everything you need to say for the last time shows your strength and bravery.
Getting out of a relationship is hard but shows your courage in taking charge of your happiness. Take some time for yourself and let yourself heal. Working on areas in your life that you may have neglected while being in the relationship can help with the sadness. And remember, you shouldn’t get stuck on him or her not being “the one.” Don’t look at a failed relationship as a waste of time, look at it as a lesson. We don’t need to understand everything that has happened to us, good or bad, but we must learn from it.