To Be Single or Not to Be: Finding Out if You’re Ready to be in a Relationship
We've all been there before. The first date went well, the conversations are interesting, and your comfortability and trust are starting to grow. The stars are finally aligned. Except, you're not sure if you can see yourself in a relationship any time soon. Taking on a new spouse can be overwhelming for some who feel rushed into making this type of life decision.
Society puts such an emphasis on finding the one that we sometimes forget to ask ourselves, "Is this what I really want in my life right now?" The real key to finding out what you’re ready for is evaluating your current situation in life.
So if you find yourself deciding whether a relationship is for you, don’t focus too much on making a fast decision. Here are a few ways to help you in deciding to be #TeamSolo or #TeamTaken.
Personal goals are a major priority
I'm convinced that having a relationship with your career is a real thing. Some people take the saying "marry your dreams" to the next level, which would make it complicated to split their time with another person. Being in a relationship requires sacrifices, which includes making daily choices and finding time to balance your love life with your personal life.
If you’re in a space where managing your personal goals and romance is possible, then there shouldn’t be any major reason holding you back from having a partner. Having a significant other wouldn’t necessarily stop you from achieving your personal goals, but it is something to think about when it comes to time management. If you find yourself constantly saying, “I really don’t have time for a relationship,” then your personal goals take the win.
You've recently gotten out of marriage or a relationship.
Jumping back into the dating scene with hopes of replacing your previous relationship may not be the best idea if you haven’t had time to self-reflect. In fact, this may be the best time to live a happily single life. Self-reflection usually comes after a relationship. It's much easier to understand the situation objectively when you are no longer with that person.
Going to networking/social events or occasional dates is fine as long as there is no immediate expectation that your next will take the place of your ex. Find some relaxing events and give yourself time to heal.
The Commitment Aspect
If there are other potential partners in your life who make you want to stick around and see how the story ends, then throwing yourself into a relationship may further complicate things. Conversely, if you're in a spot in life where being faithful comes easy, then committing to your newly found romance could be a breeze.
Commitment is a big deal when it comes to being in relationship. It involves time, emotions, energy, and loyalty. Having a wandering eye is a big sign that the single life is where you are mentally.
Your current view of relationships
Some people date with the goal in mind of having a successful marriage and the white-picket fence. While others wish to live their best lives serial dating, being single, or having friends with benefits. Happiness shouldn’t equate to you finding love if you’re already happy and feel complete with being on your own.
You can see how you feel about a relationship through asking yourself questions. Do you have a positive or negative outlook on being with someone else right now? Is your heart open to starting over with a new person? What do you hope to gain from dating? Do you feel happier being by yourself or with someone you’re interested in?
Evaluate your emotional cues
I've noticed I've had the best relationships with people when I felt the best about myself. It was through self-reflection that I realized the importance of knowing myself and determined what was healthy in a relationship and what wasn't.
If you are in a position where you don’t feel emotionally strong, then you might need to hold off from a relationship. The best time to make logical decisions is when you aren’t feeling extremely happy, sad or anxious – take your time.
Evaluate your lifestyle
If spending free time with yourself is more enjoyable than with your potential partner, then there's a chance you'll feel off-balanced deciding to be with tied down. Do you have a situation in your life that will directly conflict with your relationship? Things such as availability and time management are also deal makers/breakers.
When it all comes down to it, being single or being in a relationship both require work – one is progressing within yourself while the other requires you to grow with somebody else. Someone deciding to be a serial dater doesn’t mean they enjoy life less than happy couples. There is no right or wrong answer to your decision. Evaluating what you want is the best investment you can make!
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